It’s been nearly two weeks since the finale of Andi Dorfman’s season of The Bachelorette, as well as the dramatic live event, After the Final Rose. By now you have probably heard that runner-up Nick Viall asked Dorfman why she would make love to him in the Fantasy Suite if she was not in love with him. Viewers were stunned at the confession – Dorfman called it “below the belt” – but Viall just wanted answers. Now, it’s his turn to speak out.
In a guest post on Sean Lowe’s “not-a-blog,” Viall addresses the topic of what really happens in the Fantasy Suites.
There’s an unwritten rule that no one really talks about what happens on those nights. However, what happens there actually affects the relationships in profound ways. It’s a time when a couple can be together and share special time without the cameras. It doesn’t have to mean sex, but, of course, we all know that happens.”
He goes on to share that he did not walk into the after-show with the intention of talking about the Fantasy Suite, but when Dorfman confessed that she did not love him, he wanted to know why she slept with him if there was no emotional reciprocity. He had figured they would be engaged soon because this was not just a fling in his mind.
Well, once we had sex, my feelings of love would be solidified in that scenario. That’s not unusual – that’s normal.”
Coming to terms with unrequited love is one thing. Coming to terms with that on national television is a whole other story.
“Why did you make love to me?” I asked. I used the phrase “make love” because that’s how I felt. It was more than just physical. It was an act – I thought – of love.”
Viall explains that sex can cause just as much emotional damage to men as it does to women.
…I’m here to attest that men fall in love just as hard as women do and that sex can be just as powerful to a man as it is to a woman…when expectations aren’t the same for both partners, it can be devastating.”
He hopes that his story will encourage others to have “a more honest conversation about the Fantasy Suites and the emotional repercussions of sex.”
I really respect Nick’s honesty because I think this is an important subject to discuss. What do you think about his explanation?
– xo, A